Yes, I DID know that.

I have an annoying habit. I know. Shocker. The person who gets to experience this the most would be my husband, of course. Last night my husband decided that this habit was no longer going to annoy him. I was ecstatic. I thought I was making headway!

I have a tendency to annoy the living shit out of my husband by frequently sharing with him excerpts of whatever the heck it is that I’m reading. It makes perfect sense to me that every person in the world should think Laurie Notaro is as funny as I do. Of course he wants to hear me read the last damn hilarious thing she has just written. I mean, why wouldn’t he? The same holds true for the dozen or so magazine subscriptions that come to our house.

His idea of deciding that my habit was no longer annoying was actual a diabolical plan to turn it against me by doing it himself. I worked late last night and came home to my darling husband on the couch reading my Glamour. He had also just finished a whole bottle of wine and washed it down with a beer. I’m tired and I head upstairs to go to bed, thinking I’ll just start a new book. Oh no. My husband comes to bed and decides to read to me off every page of the magazine. Mind you, I’ve already read the whole thing. I already know the 6 Things Women Think About Men That Are Wrong. Number 7 is that they don’t read our magazines, by the way. He shares anyway. I am highly annoyed. Highly. I can’t read my book. I can’t watch the news. I tried very hard to pretend I was sleeping.

If he thinks this is going to cure me of my habit he is so wrong. It’s a full on war now. And I will win. His plan has totally failed, especially since I was planning on re-reading Wuthering Heights. Nice job, Captain Backfire.